June 14, 2018 - Too Much to Dream Last Night

[Chris L]

God, I just woke up from the longest, weirdest dream I've had in years. Felt like it went on for at least half an hour. I was back in my parents' hometown of McComb, Mississippi, at my mother's old house. @AmyG was with me. We were celebrating some occasion, like a birthday. Amy went out for some reason, so I decided to walk into town. Got totally lost and stopped off in some building, like a combination bar/library, to use the bathroom (because it was one of those dreams where you know you have to use the bathroom in real life and try to find one in your dream).

I started using a strange, wide, oddly exposed-to-the-rest-of-the-hallway urinal and some guy came up behind me to tell me I was using it wrong. He put his arm around me to show me my mistake -- no, he wasn't making a pass -- and I realized he was lifting my wallet using some kind of stick. I grabbed it and grabbed him. Fortunately, he was smaller than me and couldn't get away. I tried shouting for somebody to call the cops, but my voice was coming out too softly and nobody seemed to care anyway. If anything, they thought I was the one attacking the guy, but that was okay because they'd still call the cops. Only nobody did and after about five minutes of what felt like real time he slipped away, taking not only my wallet but my Apple Watch and my iPhone (which for some reason I conflated into the same device).

I kept trying to get somebody to call the cops to report the crime, but nobody seemed to understand. (I heard lots of stories, though, like how they planned to tear the town down to build an airport.) I went out to the street to see if there were any passing police cars. (There never are when you want one.) I tried walking back to the house, but I couldn't remember where it was. I wandered in circles, going into other buildings and even people's houses, trying to find somebody who would help, occasionally getting my feet caught in mud. Finally I ended up back at the bar, where I got somebody to listen and call the police. They came and the officer told me this happens all the time at that urinal. It had even happened to him once. We had a conversation about it and he demonstrated how the pickpocket worked, but he never seemed to get around to asking for a crime report (though he was a really nice guy, possibly with an Irish accent).

And then I finally, after what seemed like an eternity, woke up and went to the bathroom.