11-oct-18 Moving Day

[DiveMilw]

I just got home from work so I'm considering this still the 11th.  More about "moving day" after I get up in the morning/early afternoon.  

[KathyB]

So, what about "moving day"?

[DiveMilw]

Sorry, it's been a bit of a rushed time the past few days.  I've been getting ready for vacation and working the closing shift.  It's messed up my internal clock to be getting done with work around the same time I had been getting up for work.

On Thursday my Dad moved into a memory care facility.  It's pretty bittersweet.  He doesn't want to be there but it is where he needs to be.  This was going to happen but my vacation is what set the date.  It's a nice enough place but only if you make an effort to be happy there.  There are a lot of daily activities planned so there are things to do.  And the structured day will be good for him even if he doesn't like it.  What's unexpectedly upsetting for me is seeing how far he had actually progressed.  At home some of this could be hidden because he was in a very familiar place.  But in a new place everything is out in the open.  His memory issues will probably make the transition take a longer and a little bumpier than it otherwise would.   

I'm taking my mom up for a visit in a few minutes.  When it's time to pick her up I'll visit for a little bit.  We are bringing a few personal items to put in his room.   I'd like to visit more but my dad and I never really got along that well so that makes visiting with him more difficult.  When I picked up my mom last night I went in.  My dad walked to the "front" door with us and wanted to come with.  He knew he couldn't and didn't try too hard to walk out.  I had to shut the door pretty much in his face.  That was fairly heartbreaking but I try not to think about it so I don't get upset.  (The home has an actual front door into the lobby and then another door into the main portion.  Both doors have electronic locks and alarms to prevent wandering. There is a big fenced in backyard for the residents to use.  Those doors have locks as well but I think they can go out any time they'd like.  When people are out there the staff patrols every 15 minutes to make sure no one has fallen or is in any other type of distress.)

Getting old sucks.  I'm fortunate that my mom has been preparing for this more than most people.  It is making me much more aware of what I need to be doing now to make sure I'm taken care of in 20-30 years when I can no longer live on my own.  

[Gordonb]

Sorry, it's been a bit of a rushed time the past few days.  I've been getting ready for vacation and working the closing shift.  It's messed up my internal clock to be getting done with work around the same time I had been getting up for work.

On Thursday my Dad moved into a memory care facility.  It's pretty bittersweet.  He doesn't want to be there but it is where he needs to be.  This was going to happen but my vacation is what set the date.  It's a nice enough place but only if you make an effort to be happy there.  There are a lot of daily activities planned so there are things to do.  And the structured day will be good for him even if he doesn't like it.  What's unexpectedly upsetting for me is seeing how far he had actually progressed.  At home some of this could be hidden because he was in a very familiar place.  But in a new place everything is out in the open.  His memory issues will probably make the transition take a longer and a little bumpier than it otherwise would.  

I'm taking my mom up for a visit in a few minutes.  When it's time to pick her up I'll visit for a little bit.  We are bringing a few personal items to put in his room.   I'd like to visit more but my dad and I never really got along that well so that makes visiting with him more difficult.  When I picked up my mom last night I went in.  My dad walked to the "front" door with us and wanted to come with.  He knew he couldn't and didn't try too hard to walk out.  I had to shut the door pretty much in his face.  That was fairly heartbreaking but I try not to think about it so I don't get upset.  (The home has an actual front door into the lobby and then another door into the main portion.  Both doors have electronic locks and alarms to prevent wandering. There is a big fenced in backyard for the residents to use.  Those doors have locks as well but I think they can go out any time they'd like.  When people are out there the staff patrols every 15 minutes to make sure no one has fallen or is in any other type of distress.)

Getting old sucks.  I'm fortunate that my mom has been preparing for this more than most people.  It is making me much more aware of what I need to be doing now to make sure I'm taken care of in 20-30 years when I can no longer live on my own.  

That's tough Tom but it sounds like you're all pretty organised. A couple of years ago it was clear that my mother could no longer cope on her own, even with visits from caters to help her 3 times a day. We reluctantly moved her into a residential care home and since then she has settled in well. It's not perfect by any means but she knows that she is in a safe place and her limited needs are catered for. She is also taking some pride in being the oldest resident and also strangely the one with probably the best mental awareness. Not sure if this augurs well for me for the future!

[KathyB]

Oh, Tom. I'm sorry that you have to go through what you're going through. Hugs from me (and you could use a few animal hugs as well--   ).